Some or most of us have many romantic loves in this lifetime. Sometimes more than one at any given point in time. Yes! I am talking about Polyamory. So, what is all the hype about this term gaining momentum lately? It has always been around; people are just opening up about it now.
Geeky Fact: Poly comes from a Greek word meaning “many” and amor comes from Latin meaning “love”. While for some polyamory is a practice or type of relationship for some it is the core of their identity. I fall in the latter category. In my experience, polyamory is to be with multiple partners with the consent of all individuals involved. And consent is what separates it from cheating.
Monogamy in the human species has existed dominantly for the past 1000 years or so. Humans by nature are not monogamous animals. We as a society decided on being monogamous and that’s okay, but let’s not judge polyamorous people for their choice of how they want to lead their lives.
Even before I started questioning my sexuality, I questioned myself about having feelings for more than one person at any given point in time. Back in 2012, neither did I know the term nor did I have the resources to look it up. Raised in a mono-hetronormative society the question of morality and cheating arise more than often and it would leave me overwhelmed.
The internalised stigma that comes with the realisation of being polyamorous is not easy to deal with. Initially, I was hesitant to talk about it even to friends for fear of being judged. So, I try to provide myself with a judgment-free space to be me and in the process want to make it a safer space for every other individual.
We all have n number of friends in our life, with all of them we have different equations and there are different parts and depths of ourselves we share with them, but we love them all. Likewise, we can freely love multiple partners. And no, polyamory is not all about having multiple sexual partners. Sex is a beautiful part of romantic relationships, but some folks have multiple partners wherein some relationships don’t involve sex but just romantic love. In the end, it matters that the individual feels fulfilled by whoever they choose to be.
I am still exploring my ideas about polyamory and it probably will be a lifelong expedition. But we as humans are fluid beings and should not be boxed into containers. The idea is to love yourself for who you are and love and accept others with their nuances!