Most fear of failure is short-sighted — meaning we don’t generally fear failing to do something well after years of practice, hard work and repetition.
What we really fear is failing to do something right the first time. This bears repeating: What we really fear is failing to do something right the first time.
You know the most common fear everyone is fear of failure in people. Is it really reasonable to expect from our self to do the thing in the first go? Many people require several attempts to get the thing right.
The fear of failure starts as early as you see. You get appreciated when you get the right answer in schools, you get scolded when you do things wrong, and are discouraged, and judged. We never really get appreciated for the things we did right or being appreciated for being trying. Every human need to have a right to make a mistake and learn from it but why are we judged at the beginning itself to get everything right and that contributes to the fear. Are we ever rewarded for getting the wrong answers or making a mistake? Did we ever get accepted for the mistakes?
The answer is probably no.
And later on, we have developed the certain parts of this as fear. The parents consciously or unconsciously put so much pressure on us that we have this constant urge to prove ourself from doing the things right. They never appreciate or allow us to do the mistakes in the first place. We get this constant need for approval and constant need of being right that we forget that we are humans and humans do commit mistakes.
When we talk about individual differences, we talk about how an individual is different from others. Then how do we expect to follow the same timeline and same pattern of success like someone else? We try so hard to please others that we go to any extent to avoid the failure.
Failure is another emotion many cannot stand to feel because in their lives they have been conditioned to not to fail at anything. Failure takes straight back to the feelings of worthlessness. Fear of Failure creates doubts in the person constant urge for approval and above all the feeling of inferiority and constant comparison with others.
But have you ever seen a successful person without a failure? Did they give up the first time they failed? No, right?
Someday, we all have to “unlearn” and break the pattern. Someday you have to take your time and appreciate the things that worked for you and on those to that didn’t work.
Firstly, let’s just appreciate every single person whether that’s your child, brother, sister or even your parents. Let’s acknowledge their struggles and appreciate them for trying and making mistakes.
Secondly, acknowledging that every person is different and have their own journey. And there is no right answer to live a life fully. It differs from each person.
Thirdly, just constantly remind yourself and others that they are worthy, cared and loved. Sooner or later, they will always find a way at their own time. Not to be hard on themselves and give time to themselves, time to grow, learn and above life while making mistakes.